First of all I would like to introduce myself. My name is James Oh. I have been married 18 wonderful years. I have 3 BEAUTIFUL children that God so richly blessed me with.
I thank God for being able to step forward to share my testimonies with you on how He touched and transformed me as in 2 Corinthians 4:17 therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. For those who have known me for many years, would know that I was not such a person, who would voluntarily step forward to share my experiences publicly. I was a shy person who chose to put my best on the surface. To-date I am able to do so differently, mainly attributed to God's grace alone. As a result, I do not feel any pain for doing so. I shall take every opportunity to share my Christian walk so freely with anyone so long as I can glorify Him, and not me. Praise The Lord.
I firmly believe that I am given a chance to share my testimony here is no coincidence, but there is a purpose for me to do so in God's perspective. You may wonder why I refuse to use the word "coincidence" because I feel this word will insult and undermine God's power. Again, I also like to reiterate that I met this Mighty, Loving and Living God not through coincidence, but rather because of His promise to those who seek Him will find Him , as in Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
In this context, I like to share some of my experience with you. Some of you may have heard before that I lost my second child more than a decade ago, some of you may also recall my emotion when I shared this painful incident before I accepted Christ.
I was the key witness of this incident and clearly recall every significant process and its timing that took place at that night. They have delayed numerous processes and ignore my advice that eventually caused my child to die in a short span of time prior to the delivery. No one knows the exact time of delay, the gynaecologist's report is different from the report of the expert's opinion. I was not satisfied with their in house panel inquiry as they conducted it without my presence. I am very sure that they concealed the truth from me after they discovered that I have received numerous written replies that were not in their favour. Eventually, I decided to engage a lawyer to pursue further. That is my first time engaging a lawyer to sue the well established private hospital and gyneacologist, believing that I can obtain justice for my son. During that period, I felt so frustrated and helpless.
Moreover my file was lost numerous times at the court. The lawyer I had engaged did not cooperate with me and at times I had to give specific instructions such as to reconstruct my file, rather than refile as he initially proposed. I guess you are able to imagine what sort of life I had gone through nearly a decade to get my case heard. I wonder whether is there any justice in line with the the slogan that "Justice delayed is Justice denied". Who could imagine how sorrow in my heart. It was far beyond words.
At the hearing, I had even completed my law degree and my appointed lawyer had withdrawn himself from representing my wife for this case one day prior to the hearing. My guilt made me feel so meaningless and useless. Ultimately, I began to seek for Almighty and Living God so as to fulfill my much earlier promise while I pursued my law degree.
Perhaps you could be able to imagine a person's feeling especially that of the person who persuade his Mrs to go that particular hospital in view of its modern facilities. Wouldn't that strike your mind as a person judging based on the cover. With such an unfortunate event as my initial thought, it is abnormal and unnatural for me to accept such a consequence. As a result, it heats up my emotion. Couple with my Mrs ' blame of me, how could I take the matter lightly with the view that I have a very strong case against the hospital. However, all this is in vain is our natural view. However, I realized that it is a real blessing as it led me to find this Mighty and Loving God.
I thank God for making me understand the true meaning of grace. Through this incident, He revealed to me His feeling when His Begotten Son died on the cross to redeem our sins. Being Mighty and Living God really knows my heart and turn this incident to be a blessing instead. As the Sovereign God, who has every means and power to rescue His son from being executed on the cross, yet He chose otherwise. This point has been clearly demonstrated to me than He is so graceful that received my highest respect and recognition. He is a Sovereign God who keeps every word of His. Here, He chose not to kill the prosecutor, who prosecute His son, which He has the power to do so.
At the same time, He also demonstrated to me the significant key point of the bible that He loves everyone as He advocates in the Scripture - love your neigbour in Luke 10:27. The standard is far exceedingly Confucius standard of "Do to others as you want others do to you."
As a result, it caused me to withdraw the case and leave it to Him solely, despite having pursued it for nearly a decade. Since then, He has taken this burden from my shoulder and I feel so much relief and He had set me free from this incident, as advocated in John 8:32 "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." Now, I can share this incident with anyone so freely and calmly. It does not cause any pain to me. Thank God for helping me ease my pain even though I had not fulfilled my promise to my son.
As I pursue my christian walk further, I discovered that He is the only real security I can hold on. Why do I say so? This is because I can still recall clearly during the peak of my career, I felt very stressful and under lots of pressure to deliver and perform. Frequently I have sleepless night and loaded with all sorts of worries and felt so insecure. I tend to work very hard and stretch myself to the maximum, yet my heart was not peaceful at all. I felt like chasing after my shadow.
God also has numerous times delivered me overseas assignments when I was desperately in need of a job, so as to answer my family and friends' prayers. However, I came back when my family members were in need of my presence. Now, I am working as a freelance accountant. Although my situation is not better than before, however I have the peace and have good sleep most of the nights. I find myself much healthier and more energetic despite my age is catching up. To be frank to you, I must say that all these come from Him. The more I cling on to Him, I feel much stronger and secure, contradicting my initial belief prior to accepting Christ that only the weak ones rely on God. I also realized that the more I submitted to Him voluntarily the more I acknowledge that I am not alone. He is the sovereign God who keeps His promises and He shall not abandon any of us.
Our Sovereign Lord also reveal to me that faith also function like our muscles. The more you exercise, your muscle will get stronger. Similarly, the boat anchored at the port is much safer than at sea, however it is not created for its intended purpose. Through the book of Job, He has demonstrated this crucial point very clearly to me as how Job get his strength through Christ when Job lost almost everything he had at one time. This crucial point of the true security has numerous times repeated from the old testament till new testament. Jesus Christ even had to remind Apostle Peter to focus on Him rather than the circumstances when both were walking on the sea in Matthew 14 : 28 -33.
My prayer and mission for the year 2011 is to know Him and to make Him known. By His grace, my life will be fruitful and His glory will revealed through me.
Hope you too have the same experience as mines and to enjoy the fruitfulness as we commit our lives to Him this year as concluded in James 1: 2-4. "My brether, count it all joy when fall into various trails, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."